Cafe Funchal

Cafe Funchal is like alot of other bars. But none of them is in the city of New Bedford.
Located on the corner of Church Street and Nash Road, having moved from a much smaller Acushnet Avenue location, Funchal is quite remarkable. On the night of the Barflies' official visit, it was, as it often, is quite busy. The main bar is situated in a cavernous room, with an incredibly lengthy bar and three (four? five?) large flat screen televisions hovering above, like quietly humming "close encounter" motherships. The exterior architecture and the unlikely location do not signal the handsome decor that awaits within. Besides the liquor bar, staffed by at least two very good bartenders, names unknown to Mr. Draft, there is an elegant horseshoe-shaped oyster bar. Mr. Draft is of the belief that perhaps the best accompaniment to a Guinness draft stout is a couple of iced oysters on the half shell, and Funchal did not disappoint him. The Cafe can be loud, but it is a good loud...the kind of loud that comes from people talking, laughing, flirting, and socializing. There is an extensive specialty martini list, and a phone-book sized menu, focusing in on some of the the best Portuguese food in the city. The Mr. Mix and Mr. Merlot...oh, the hell with this---Mr. Draft is just going to say it....Cafe Funchal gets a 10 for at least a half-dozen reasons: an excellent menu; professional and knowledgeable staff at the liquor bar and the oyster bar (c'mon, when was the last time someone could explain to you the subtle difference between an oyster from off the Rhode Island coast versus one from off Long Island?); a beautiful interior architecture; a jumping crowd; and bold owners with the balls to open a Tribeca bar in the north end of New Bedford!
Roll Call: Mr. Draft. Mr. Mix, Mr. Merlot, Mr, Whiskey, Mr. Brew-haha, Mr. 3BOES

Candleworks

With exterior walls in a shade of subdued salmon, the Candleworks sits at the bottom of Elm Street very close to Route 18, and it fills a much-needed niche in the downtown New Bedford bar-and-restaurant scene. Around for nearly thirty years, this sweet old dame of a bar has gone through several changes of ownership and a menu that has wavered in quality over that time. But, damn, it's hard not to like her. Located in a building that dates way back, the Candleworks has a deserved reputation as an elegant and quixotic spot, for dinner or to sip a drink or two. Unlike another downtown spot of similar vintage- who shall remain unnamed- this place bespeaks of timelessness without tiredness, tradition without perdition, and old-school quality without old-school sentimentality. On the evening of the visit of the Barflies, the bar was tended by a friendly and good spirited bar matron named Jenny, and another younger barmaid, name unknown...both good at their job. The draft selection was more than adequate. Mr. Draft drank a a Stella Artois from a very tall pilsner glass, while Mr. Martini had Anis Escarachado (a Portuguese anise flavored liquor) on ice. Mr. Sazurac, recently relocated from New Orleans, was very vocal about how impressed he was with the interior architecture of the place. It is beautiful, with huge crossbeams supporting the ceiling above, and the textured ancient stone walls. Connected to the main dining room is a glass-enclosed deck, festooned with tiny white lights, the perfect place for a romantic interlude. As the Barflies were about to leave, a band- Distinction- was setting up, and Jennie mentioned that there was always music on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday nights. That may be a reason for a return visit...as if it needed another one. Candleworks rates a 10. (Roll Call: Mr. Draft, Mr. Cork, Mr. Sazurac. Mr. Martini)

Adega

Situated in what was once the old Thomas' department store, Adega is an old world (but not old school) bar and restaurant transplanted to the south end of New Bedford. And the Barflies welcome it wholeheartedly. The decor is a study in timeless elegance, darkly quixotic and moodily European. Adega- which translates from the Portuguese as "cellar"- features one of the city's headiest (and heaviest) wine lists, as well as a better-than-usual draft selection. The array of high end vodka brands, in enough fruity and savory flavors to rival a Baskin-Robbins, is a bit mind-boggling. While Adega has a beautiful length of bar, and a very knowledgeable and skilled barman (John), it is primarily a restaurant. The menu is expansive and the delectables are available at the bar proper. Mr. Mix ordered a cheese plate, which turned out to be a canoe, filled not only with a variety of cheeses, but accompaniments such as guava (?) jelly, bacon, bread, and thick wedges of pineapple. The nature of Adega is inherently romantic, and as much as Mr. Draft enjoys Mr. Merlot's charm, Mr. Cork's sophistication, Mr. Mix' sense of humor, and Mr. 3BOES' boyish good looks, he'd rather be there with Mrs. Draft (who also has charm, sophistication, a sense of humor- and no boyish good looks). Adega 's only fault is that it almost too romantic...a great spot to bring that significant other, or some other you'd like to be significant, or the parents of that significant other to show them how well you treat her, but it certainly is not the usual hangout kind of spot. But what they're good at, they are damn good at. and the Barflies give it a 10. (Roll Call: Mr. Draft, Mr. Mix. Mr. Cork, Mr. Merlot, Mr. 3BOES)

Incognito

Incognito is defined as "having one's identity concealed, especially to avoid notice or formal attentions." Then it must be with a ironic "wink-wink, nod-nod, know what I mean" that the owners of this relatively new establishment decided to call it Incognito because this place deserves to be noticed. Located on the east side of Acushnet Avenue, just south of Nash Road, Incognito is a vibrant and tastefully decorated bar, with a proficient and able staff, who are eager to please. That the barkeeps- both female and male- are pleasing to the eye is a plus. (A note: Mr. Draft. a classically trained visual artist, has an appreciation for the human form but rarely- if ever- comments on the "eye-pleasantness" of a male bartender, but was assured by Mrs. Draft that the male staff was every bit as attractive as Mr. Draft considered the female staff! In fact, Mrs. Draft had one of the manly bartenders autograph a calendar in which he appeared for her. Mr. Draft knows not jealousy.) Incognito has an adequate draft selection, including Peroni (described by Mr. Cork as the Italian Budweiser) but it's true speciality is the martini, in all it's myriad forms. The martini list is as entertaining with creative drink names and recipes as it is lengthy. A traditionalist at heart, Mr. Draft opted for a simple Absolute martini, and the large contingent of Barflies (with spouses or significant others in tow) all enjoyed their cocktails or goblets of wine. A couple of the Barflies dove into a plate of wings, which proved to be excellent- tasty with the right amount of heat. Incognito- like Octane- is in a transitional neighborhood, and it is truly a pleasure to pass through the door, from the urban grime and street cacophony of "the Ave" to the upscale sophistication of a bar like Incognito. Some of the drinks can be a little higher priced than one is used to finding on the Avenue, but the quality of the ingredients, the ability and gregariousness of the staff, and the attention to detail- from the food menu to the lighting- make it worth the extra buck or two. Incognito is the first bar that the Barflies give a deserving and unqualified 10! (Roll Call: Mr. Draft, Mrs. Draft, Mr. Cork, Mrs. Cork, Mr. Merlot, Mrs. Merlot, Mr. Mix, Mrs. Mix, Mr. Elixir, Madame Mai-Tai)

Antonio's Restaurant

Antonio's, at the corner of North Front Street and Coggeshall Street, is a longstanding New Bedford establishment, with an excellent reputation and deservedly so. With an atmosphere of understated elegance, it manages to be, simultaneously, a neighborhood hangout, a serious restaurant specializing in fine Portuguese cuisine, and an inviting spot for a romantic rendezvous.
The selection of draft, while not remarkable, is certainly serviceable, and Mr. Draft opted for an IPA from Long Trail, a Vermont-based brewery. It was the perfect accompaniment to the pair of stuffed quahogs ordered. The quahogs themselves were subtly sweet and adequately spicy, the taste only slightly impaired by a slight scorching (too long under a broiler?) Mr. Mix, at the bartender's suggestion, had a Batida de Maracuja, made with a Madeira Island-made passion fruit liqueur. As Mr. Mix generally likes to order drinks that throb with sexual innuendo, the drink's name probably translated from the Portuguese as something like Nibble My Trouser Snake. Mr. Mix described it as "liquid sweet tarts." Mr. Draft would return to Antonio's in a heartbeat...good food, pleasant staff, and a sophisticated interior without a hint of pretentiousness. Mr. Draft gives it a 9. (If the quahogs hadn't been mildly burnt, it coulda been a contender...it might have received a 10!) (Roll Call: Mr. Draft, Mr. Mix, Mr. Merlot)